Working to improve ourselves is a never-ending mission. From the time we enter grade school until we take our last breath, we strive to improve ourselves. After college, we take jobs and work hard for promotions. We get married with the mindset of having a fantastic family and raising great children.
However, when infidelity enters our marriage, improving almost seems impossible. We blame, feel guilty, and wonder if our lives will ever be the same. Continue reading to discover ways to improve your marriage if infidelity has found its way into that sacred bond. The image source is Pexels.
Infidelity can best be described as the act of unfaithfulness in marriage. It is when one partner in that union has a relationship with someone other than their spouse. It is often a time of grief and turbulence and can lead to divorce. Some ways to work through infidelity in a marriage are:
Talking and Be Accountable for Your Actions
Often the last thing you want to do when you find out your partner has been unfaithful is sitting and speaking with them. You realise that those conversations will become heated and usually lead to arguments and lots of yelling. However, one way to work through the problem of infidelity is to sit and have a rational conversation with your partner.
That conversation can begin with the person who has committed infidelity apologising and taking responsibility for their actions. That involves maturity, truthfulness, and not blaming the other partner. The partner who has cheated on must be willing to listen, accept the apology if given sincerely, and show reasonableness in wanting to make their marriage work.
Get help from a counsellor or pastor
Sometimes the problem of infidelity is too big for couples to work out on their own. They see problems as going far beyond what one person is dead. In those instances, sitting down with a pastor or counsellor who has experience in marital infidelity issues is helpful. The benefit of sitting with a counsellor or a pastor is that they experience infidelity. They have probably counselled hundreds of people in this same situation. They are unbiased, and their goal is to make your marriage work. The advice that they give you is based on their training and education and not feel for you like a family or friend would have. Therefore, consider talking to a pastor or counsellor if you have been the victim of infidelity but want your marriage to work.
Compromise With Your Partner
If discussions lead to realising that problems beyond infidelity caused your partner to step outside of the marriage consider compromising. For instance, if you learn through therapy that your coldness at night and unwillingness to have sexual relations or be intimate with your partner let them to be unfaithful, consider meeting them halfway. That is, unless you have a medical issue preventing you from wanting sex with your partner. Instead of the five times a week that he wants to have relations, maybe start at two times a week. That way your lack of intimacy is no longer an issue that comes between you.
Finding ways to restore trust after infidelity is hard. Every time your partner's phone rings you may be tempted to ask who’s calling. Every time your partner leaves home, you may wonder where they are going away and who they will say. It is not unusual to ask yourself, “why do men cheat on good women?” However, if your goal is to make your marriage work after infidelity, one of the biggest things you will have to do is find a way to restore trust.
Restoring trust in a marriage after infidelity takes time and effort. The person who cheated and was unfaithful must understand they are partners' perspectives and lack trust. If they plan to be accountable, they must show their partner that they want the marriage to work and will work hard to be faithful. The person who was cheated on in the marriage will have to show patience and understanding. Unfortunately, their job it’s probably more complicated than the person who cheated because they are the one who was cheated on. They have to work harder to get trust back.
As you have read, infidelity can be very damaging to a marriage. It can cause a lack of trust, a tense household, and even lied to divorce. Above I have outlined some ways to improve your relationship after infidelity has occurred. Hopefully, you can find your way on the other side of unfaithfulness with these tips.